Harm and Mac Get Together
by devilishmisfit
Summary: During different points in the JAG story Harm and Mac could easily have been more open with each other and moved their relationship forward: the dialogue tweaked and a different outcome resulted, a different choice made or more emotional life fleshed out between them. This story is a collection of those could-have-been scenes turned into what they could have been.


"Every man she's been with is either dead or wishes they were,"  
His eyes met hers and his face drained of color. He watched surprise wash over her face, and then the hurt. He froze. He couldn't think of what to say as shame washed over him as he watched the strong but fragile woman shut down and block him out.

"Mac—"

But the elevator doors were closing and she would not look at him.

He turned to see Sturgis' upturned eyebrow and he glared at him. Then he walked past him without another word to his office where he shut the door and sank, defeated and scared, into his chair.

 _Every man she's been with is either dead or wishes they were, Every man she's been with is either dead or wishes they were, Every man she's been with is either dead or wishes they were, Every man she's been with is either dead or wishes they were._

The words played over and over in her head. She had thought that they might be able to move forward now that they had both hurt each other. She thought at least things could have sunk back into what they were before Mic had come to America.

How long had he thought this? Is this why he had never wanted to move things forward? Why he hadn't told her about Renee? He thought…

She sank her head back in her Corvette, willing the tears to stay in. She couldn't keep them back. Angrily slapping the steering wheel she fumbled the keys shakily into the ignition and started her car.

She backed up quickly and pulled out of the parking lot. She needed to go home. She needed to feel safe. _Every man she's been with is either dead or wishes they were,_ the words in his voice popped back into her head and she cried out in pain. Dalton and Eddie flashed before her eyes as they died in her arms. Mic's face at the airport overwhelmed her and she glanced over to see a parking spot that she could pull into and she yanked the car over and put it in park before the tears took over and she crumpled.

Two hours later she was back at her desk. She saw that Harm had his door closed and he looked hard at work. Good. The less she had to talk to him the better. Their relationship was over and she just had to accept that. Her heart fluttered at the thought and her stomach dropped. It was over. Her and him. They were over. She hadn't wanted to see it before but…now she was surprised she hadn't seen it sooner. She hadn't wanted to see it sooner.

She gave that thought one more minute and then pulled the top file off of her stack towards her and got back to work.

Harm watched as she came back in, head held high, and made her way to her office. His heart swelled in pride for her strength; and he internally beat himself again for his callous words. He needed to apologize, to make it better. But what was the point? She didn't want to talk to him anymore; didn't want to move forward. She had made that abundantly clear on the Patrick Henry.

But he still found himself wanting to apologize. Yet somehow, even though he had easily gotten into the cockpit of multiple F-16s and fought MIGs and nearly died in a storm but managed to keep going, somehow getting out of his chair and walking over to Mac's office was more frightening than any situation he had ever faced in combat.

He found his excuse in a knock on the door from Bud, handing him over some paperwork that he needed to finish the McClary case. He got back to work and didn't look up for hours. When he did come out of his work he realized that most of the office had gone home. Most of the lights were off and the pool was quiet except for one or two faces. Mac's light was still on and he saw her typing away on her computer.

Slowly, haltingly, he stood up from his desk and walked around to the door of his office. With every step weighing on him he walked the 10 feet to her office door and knocked. Her head whipped around and her gorgeous brown eyes found his and he couldn't help but look at her perfect lips as she said, "What can I do for you Harm?" He realized that his heart was beating too fast and his thoughts were coming slow as molasses. She made him weak and slow. He felt overpowered by her every time he saw her. But for once, because he knew he had to apologize, he let that feeling wash over him, instead of trying to fight it off.

"Harm?" He looked from her lips to her eyes again and moving to sit in the chair across from her desk he slowly managed to get out, "I need to apologize to you for what I said earlier."

He watched her brow crease in confusion. "Why? Everything you said was true." Her flippant tone threw him for a loop, he thought she would have been more broken up about it. "That's…that's irrelevant. I shouldn't have said it."

"I think it was fine Harm. It made things clear to me. Things I had been having a hard time accepting."

It was his turn to crease his brow in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, that you don't like me."

His eyes widened in surprise but before he had a chance to negate her statement, she went on. "It should have been more obvious to me sooner that you no longer wished to be friends. I suppose it's probably my fault for…that night in Sydney. It just threw everything into the air for us and ever since then…nothing has been right between us. And between Mic and Renee and everything that's been said or not said…done and not done…I should have realized sooner that you didn't want to be friends anymore."

"Mac…of course I want to be friends with you. I…"

"No you don't. Or you wouldn't have hid Renee breaking up with you and you wouldn't have said what you said to Sturgis."

His brow creased again as he took in her words. She was right about one thing, he hadn't acted like a good friend today. He hadn't acted like the man who stuck with her through everything for the first 5 years of their partnership. He hadn't acted like the person who was grateful that she had saved him…multiple times, the person who loved making her laugh and still remembered all the times she had made him laugh. So much was wrong right now for her to think that.

"It's not true Mac. You're right that I haven't been acting like a good friend to you, but I do want to get back there."

"I don't think we can Harm."

He looked up at her. "I think…I think I need to move…" She slid a hand over her eyes and he knew she was fighting back tears. In an instant, he knew that she had been putting on a front and that she did hurt. And in an instant, he knew what he had to say. He got up and closed her door and pulled the shades so it was completely private. He prayed that the Admiral had left for the day but he needed to say what he needed to say.

He walked back over and went to her side of the desk. He got down on one knee and took her hand in his. She was too surprised to react, which was good because he knew that she could have clocked him in a different mood.

"Mac, what I said today…I was wrong. I should not have said it and if I could go back and take it back I would. You are right about one thing. I don't want to be your friend. I can't be your friend because…because I'm…" He kissed her hand to stall as he got up the courage to say what he had been wanting to say since he woke up in that hospital after his crash.

"I love you." He saw her freeze. "I love you Sarah McKenzie and I don't want to be your friend. I want to be with you. I want to be your partner and I'm so sorry that I haven't been able to be honest with you. Please forgive me. Please give me a chance to show you that I can be a good partner. It's what I've wanted for…I don't even know how long. Probably since I saw you come in with Mic's ring on. I've been so jealous and unsure about where you wanted me to fit in your life that I just froze up. And…please Mac, say something?"

He realized that tears were streaming down her face and he reached up and wiped them away. He was struck by how soft her eyes were and by the curve of her cheek and his heart swelled to notice that she wasn't pulling away from him. "Mac?" She let out a sob and then took his hand and held it hard. "Harm there's so much…" she broke again.

"Mac I know that we have a lot to talk about, not only about the fact that what we are doing right now is illegal—, " she laughed, as he hoped that she would. "But right now…I want you to know that I know I have a lot to make up for and that starts now." He moved to stand up and put his hand to hold her cheek. He kissed her forehead softly and suddenly her arms came up to hold his neck. He looked into her eyes, her beautiful, loving eyes and brought his lips to hers.

It was like wildfire.

It was everything their kiss on the Admiral's porch had been and more because now it contained a blossom of hope. Hope that they could change the past. Hope that they could write a new future for themselves. He pulled her up and pulled her to him and she clung to him, slipping her arms around to his back and holding onto him tightly. He turned her so she was against the desk and gripped her lower back to hold her more closely to him.

He was hard and when he pushed his body against her, her gasp made him smile and move his hands down her hips and over the soft curve of her bottom. Her shortened breathe made him smile again. And when her hands moved down his back, her nails hard against the thick material of his uniform, he felt the blood pulsing through him grow even stronger and let out a feral growl.

He pulled back and they both were breathing heavily. She brought her hands up to hold his face and smiled. She could hardly believe that this was happening. Joy welled up in her heart that this man had finally admitted to feelings she could only guess at before."Well, Commander, this is not how I thought this day would end."

-Fin- 


End file.
